When It All Catches Up With You

Here I was feeling awfully proud of myself for getting through the holidays with only a few tears shed.  Christmas was great, we made it through the cemetery trip just fine, Riley sang songs to Justin and while it was still hard, we got through it...the first time with no tears.  Later that day, my mom and I went up to the cemetary again, just us, and that was a little harder.  It's easier when you are putting on a happy face for your children, but when you are the child it's not so easy. 

I was happy though that we were able to make it a joyous day none the less, and like I said I was feeling awfully proud of myself...that is until last night.  All of a sudden it was like I was punched in the stomach.  Everything I thought I had overcome, all the feelings that I thought I had dealt with came back with a vengence. It's crazy how it happens like that, when all of a sudden everything catches up with you, and a normal day takes such an odd twist for no reason, and all of a sudden you are thrown back into reality and you remember just how human you are.  And like my aunt said last night, it is such a humbling experience when you realize how childlike you really are realizing that even as an adult sometimes you just need to be held, whether it's by a family member, a friend, your husband, your mother, or even God himself who holds you up when you are feeling down. 

I am so thankful that I have family that will stay up until wee hours in the morning, just because all of a sudden I am having a hard night.  (Thank you Janie, I am sure you are cussing me right now as you are probably falling asleep at work, don't worry I'm cussing myself right now too:) ).