I noticed Ryan was quieter than usual today too, so I'm guessing, five is hard all around. Generally we are able to talk freely about Justin, today I think it was just easier to not mention his birthday or even speak his name.
This morning when I woke up my first thought was, "We would be getting ready for a party". Today I would be blowing up balloons, setting up the table, wrapping the last minute gift, and having Ryan run to the store at least twice to get things I've forgotten. Right now we would be in a hustle and I would frantic but it would all be fun and worth it to see him blow out his candles and open his gifts.