Justin Ryker Swick

Justin Ryker Swick

Monday, July 8, 2013

A Baby After SIDS

I've noticed on a lot of blogs that mother's stop writing after they have a baby; after they have had a baby pass away due to "SIDS".  I swore I would not be one of those mothers; that I would keep writing, because I wanted to know.  I wanted to know what it was like; but here I am; and I stopped writing  blogs after Hannah was born.  Life got busy! Life with three kids is not like life with two, so this blog is about life after "losing" a child.

I hate saying that I "lost" a child.  I did NOT "lose" a child.  I know where Justin is; Justin is with his Maker, Justin is with us, Justin is here. Just because I cannot hold him, feel him, watch him, does not mean that he is not here or a part of our family; he is, and always will be.  Life after Justin, however, is different.  Life after having a baby pass away is different! It is hard, it is joyful, it is life; it just is.  Life goes on; one way or another God makes life keep moving forward. 

Hannah is amazing.  She is bright-eyed, she is beautiful.  I see Justin in her; I see Jesus through her eyes.  She is wonderful.  Life after "SIDS" is scary.  You don't sleep. You worry about everything! You are always on your toes!  And with three little ones life is always, always, on the go! It's new jobs, it's a new house, it's a new baby, it's a new life, it's everything!!! And I wouldn't give her up for the world!!!

I have learned a lot of new things with Hannah; like you don't have to take a baby to the doctor if they are not sick.  You do not need vaccines; they are useless and dangerous, and YOU ABSOLUTELY, BEYOND ANYTHING ELSE, HAVE TO, HAVE TO, DO YOUR RESEARCH!!! If your child passed away due to "SIDS" or "SUID" go back and look at when they got their vaccines!! DO IT! 

Life after SIDS is hard, but it is amazing! I LOVE everything about every one of my children!  I am more informed about what I feed them, what I do to them, how I live my life with them.  Do not be scared of having another baby, it is a whole new world; an amazing life you never knew possible.  Hannah is absolutely, without a doubt, worth every heartache I have ever been dealt.

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