I am in the process of getting Justin's Jesus ready to submit to the publisher, although there is a lot left to be done! One of the things I want to add in Justin's Jesus is letters from his family and friends. If anyone would like to write about Justin, a letter to him, or how Justin's Jesus has touched you, please let me know before I send it to the publisher, I will be sure to add it. I have been dealing lately with being angry, and I'm not sure what about. Generally when I see a baby and I am happy, I am happy for the babies parents that they get that baby, that I am able to see them, and even sometimes I get the privilage of holding one. The past couple of days, my arms feel empty, and it is such a heart breaking feeling, that a lot of times, if I let it, turns into bitterness. I do sometimes think, "you know there are a lot of families out there with multiple kids, living in proverty, in horrible situations, and, Lord, why not save one of those children from living a life of proverty on the streets, than to take mine? Horrible, I know. I try to think, "why not me", when these thoughts pop into my head, but sometimes I do let human nature take over and I start to feel sorry for myself. I am sorry, Lord, I know your plan is better and bigger than mine, I know I should be happy Justin is with you, (Riley tells me everytime he sees me crying about missing Justin), and I am, I know Justin is happy, healthy, and will never feel heartache or pain, but I am still living among human flesh Lord, and I still do, this heartache and this pain is very real.
Here is my letter to Justin, in Justin's Jesus