This morning I was prepared to be crying, quiet, and distant all day. I was not looking forward to spending Justin's Birthday without him.
Ryan and I have decided not to prevent another pregnancy, but not to plan or try for another baby either. Don't get me wrong though, my arms were feeling awfully empty quite a few times. We have been off of birth control for quite awhile and I didn't understand how I could have two big surprises, (Riley and Jacob) and yet we were doing nothing to prevent a pregnancy and still were not being surprised.
I took a pregnancy test the other day and it was negative, but it was a pack of two. I was waiting to just hear a still small voice telling me that it was time to take another one again. Every morning since, I forgot to take the test. This morning I woke up and for some reason, other than it being Justin's birthday that was first thing that popped in my mind. Since I still had the second one left I figured we'd just see. I really figured it would be negative, considering I had just taken one...but it wasn't.
It may be Justin's Birthday but he gave us the best present ever. Thank you so much sweet baby, and I know you gave this baby a big kiss from his/her older brother. Thank you sweet Lord Jesus. Thank you, thank you. Happy Birthday our sweet little Justin! We love you so much!